Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Cause of Christian Failure

In the year 1965 Bishop Williams was invited as guest Speaker at the 50th Jubilee Convention of the Pentecostal Assemblies of the World. Before the sermon, he presented a plaque to Bishop Samuel Grimes for his valuable services to the Pentecostal movement. Following the ceremony Bishop Williams preached this dynamic sermon "The Cause of Christian Failure." It was felt that this message was so enthusiastically received and had such universal significance that it should be available to the World.

Here we are, friends, at Gods Barking's very first sermon. The previous records had been fairly easy to interlace with dog noises - after all, it's been taught for years in various conservatories that the torturous yelps of canines are perhaps the most pure musical expressions on the planet!

But, this, Smallwood E. Williams, this is another case. Smallwood's belligerent verbal gait is as harsh as one could ever hope to hear, the only musical quality being an awkward, military-esque rhythm to his wrought-out shouts. I was not, to be honest, entirely assured about this particular project. I carefully ripped Cause, certain to not allow even the slightest bump against my turntable to stymie Smallwood's furor. Once I had captured and digitized the album, I, as graceful as a weaver working thread into a fine tapestry, situated the dogs. With hesitance, I pressed Play. Oh! What horrors await?!

At once, I was overwhelmed. But, no, not by sorrow, friends! I came to realize that the agony with which my precious dogs yowled was the absolute perfect mate for Smallwood's own wails. The composition builds - dogs bark, Smallwood barks back, the volume escalates, you begin to lose all control! This is truly a singular experience, and I can have no greater pleasure in life than to share it with you, readers.


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

He Met Me There

Today's record comes courtesy of Denver's own Searles Sisters. These feisty broads, decked out in uniform garb, are provided arrangements by Jerry Nelson, "one of the warmest individuals in God's service." Why he isn't the warmest is a question to be pondered over crackling fire and snifter of barrell-aged cognac, but what one can say for absolutely certain is that these ladies' lustrous pipes could expect no greater partner than the anguished cries of caged quadrapedials.


Sunday, April 5, 2009

In which I place the sounds of dogs barking over obscure religious records.

The purpose of this project is to bin-dive obscure religious records and place on top of them the sounds of dogs barking. The motive behind this idea is two-fold. First, the record shops I frequent have an abundance of old, cheap religious records. Secondly, I have somehow amassed several hours of barking dogs in both compact disc and .mp3 form over the past few years and need to justify their existences. I will not display an ideological predilection in this endeavor; the act in and of itself is sufficient.

Below is a link to my first composition, Gods Barking, Vol. 1, which utilizes an LP from the Speedway Gospelaires. The album title is Wonderful Friend. It was produced in Nashville, TN and is their first (and last?) stereo album. From the back:

The Speedway Gospelaires consists of born again believers in Christ and are dedicated to His will. Delbert Merida sings lead and plays rhythm guitar, Edna Merida sings alto, Marion Lawson sings tenor, John Stogsdale plays lead guitar and John Stogsdale Jr. plays bass fiddle.

In my piece, I dedicate the left channel to the first side of Wonderful and the right channel to the second side. Also, I have put reverb on the recordings to give them a more distant sound. The dogs' voices have been pitch-shifted down slightly but otherwise lack any aural tampering.